Nyquil Confessions

11:13 pm ..at home feeling like a patient ..that nyquil got me real drownsy ..lol….no wrk 2day ..i was supposed 2 go 2 skool but i just dipped on that 4 no reason …idk …sumtimes i wonder wat it all really means like why even try wen ur goin 2 end up in the same place …my depression is overwhelming …..next thought -

wrk 2mar {ugh}… i hate my job but i love money ..i guess i shud be happy 4 myself … but iam in 2 deep 2 feel anything ….i been writing a lil more but somehow i feel that my small attempts r useless without my mpc ….still tho i love music ..i feel itz the only thing that i have wen all else is uncertain…..i saw her thoughts 2day they were interesting ….itz even better in person ….i wonder if she wud ever go 4 me but then my insecurity kicks in and iam back 2 my self again …..amsterdam …itz okay u can run and tell my city iam on….next thought

i wonder why ppl i dont even kno have so much power over me …itz dosnt make sense ……i guess thats life ..pain and pleasure all in one ..but for me i feel more than the adverage person, no one understands that ….but they will one day i guess……my dayz r goin fast and i dont think i can handle it …i guess itz the substance abuse…          “A”

-Nyquil Confessions

{sigh}

..3:41 am   bak frm wrk skool in the mornin tired as hell ..but iam still up doin my thing ….wrk was iight i think iam in over my head but iam 2 deep 2 see … idont kno anything but i want 2 and that is the scary part …maybe if ….. nah watever iam just overthinking again ..anyway ..this week was okay i been writting a lil more just 2 pass the time ….just waiting 4 that time so i could start it up ……next thought

lil wayne is a beast wrd 2 me i swear he must be makin these songs just 2 help me get thru this shyt …lol ..nah  but ….”mama badd ..mama mean … gasoline …she’s on fire”    check it

who iam i talkin about ..hehe jus a business partner ..lol ..but i dont think she really notices me ..itz all gravy tho …iam a patient person …..matter fact take her out …haaa

nah iam tired iam off 2 sleep …maybe if i was older but i like bein young ..yung money lol     f it iam who i am ….  amsterdam

-amsterdam

Welcome

after a while of hii atus  or watever iam resurfacing 2 planet earth …  i been off the radar so u  kant see me …. back 2 the matter at hand the mixtape is done but not really done ..bigger things 2 do at this point music always wat it has been ,,,, ppl r feelin a lil sour out here … but they sweet on the inside …..itz nuffin iama always do 4 dolo … amsterdam is back and you could tell a friend  .. but this time iama do it different …… give me some time world …..you havent seen the last of me thats word 2 dame iam not goin no where … i said iama do it and i mean it …hoffa 2marrow …i need my sleep i gotta work 2day …..Amsterdam

~A

R.I.P to the greatest of all time

you up high in the sky  itz nuffin above him

MixTape Coming soon

Amsterdam tha mitape iz coming soon ……just put up 2 new tracks 2 keep ya’ll busy …..amsterdam iam in the studio rii now working on these songs …mixing and masterin these songs …..here it comes

http://www.myspace.com/amsterdam131st

Were iam I

in the studio rii now layin down these tracks…….hellz yea …Amsterdam …i been away 4 awhile

just a update …studio time i’ll holla

New day New thoughts

up 2am in the morning as usual ..i’ll prolly write some lines in a few minutes …..the need 2 write some dope lyrics has woke me up…itz like a lil kid who tries 2 wake up his mother becuz she promised him that she wud take him 2 the toy store ….just describing the visual …..iam lisiting 2 the pink lavalamp ..if u dont kno who made it then go find out ..and listen 2 the songs ..true shyt …the mixtape is done ..as i said b4 iam just doin new shyt rii now ….itz like surplus music …but theres never enough music so, itz like much needed music…. i passed by her pictures 2day agian ..idk y i keep doing that ..iam pretty much not really thinkin about her as much ..iam more into me ..iam bout 2 start reading these history books ….like roman dictation “the way of the warrior”  and the art of war by sun tzi ……the mind is a terrible thing 2 waste …i need all the mind power i can get ….this world will break u down ..in order 2 survive u have 2 stay level headed ….but i dont wanna survive i wanna live 2 tha limit and love it alot …so i have 2 have an above levelhead….i relized that wen u make a choice 2 live extrondinary u have 2 give up certain things and ppl …becuz they dont think wit the same mind state as u …iam wanna be the best , train wit the best , and become a genius all in 1 ….some ppl r just kewl wit being adverage …iam not …..new york city iz a killer ….thats y ppl move away and go 2 find refuge …half of my family has moved away 2 escape the city ………iam not goin nowhere ..iama uptown boy ….u already kno

i’ll prolly go 2 tha studio next week .depends on how i feel and how i deal…idk  i do miss that mpc …..hopefully i’ll be able 2 get my own by the end of the summer ..then i will be a real producer …..iam already a producer but i gotta get my own shyt ….the 12am creativity wud be crazy ….at this point iam kind of tired of talkin about wat iam gonna do i just wanna do it already ..shit is gettin boring …but i got my songs 2 keep me busy ….still writing my wrongs …my friends r not my friends any more and the messed up thing they dont even kno it ….they r fine with doin the things they do ,,,i kno better therfore i cannot befriend a person who iz fine with bullshit …….enuff tryin 2 fix that ……cuttoff time ..itz time 2 just cut ppl off ..i’ll luv em frm a distance …..we still chill once a year but thats it lmao …amsterdam ni99a my time iz money ..iam royal and i only do royal shit …..yea self improvement time up and alert wat wat >>>>>

I still luv her tho …..she luvs me but she is in trouble …i kant blame her becuz iam hard 2 4get >>>>wen the time comes i will tell her how i feel …she will feel wat iam talkin about becuz i will be close enuff 2 convey it >>>>think about it<<<<<<A~DaM>>>>>>>next thought ……

iam bak again …but never left so iam just returning frm nowhere …”i watch u dissappear into the clouds” yea wen that songs drops u will kno what iam talkin about ……so much inside jokes …soo lil time …..”freestyling” is a dead term itz now called “improvising”…i kno itz basically the same ..but jimi hendrix improvised ………..i like 2 think iama rock star ….becuz rockstars scream out there feelings wit out any care in the world …they display emotion that is accepted by all ……..AmsterdaM iz rockstar living ….the world were music iz life …..and life is is a blank BpM tap UNtil u add some drums and instruments and samples ..lol……..u wanna kno me ?

~AmsterDaM    (Rip 2 my Cuzzin i still luv him ….u up high in the sky itz nuffin above him)

wishfull thinkin

^

Pow!….Pow!    Pow !!….right back at ya ….just a dose of dopeness ….i sooooooo want these shoes itz not even funny …but the fact of the matter is they cost alot of money ………..soo…..iama still get em…. watch  me ..i been talkin about these shoes 4 a while now but the time has come ..the release date is coming up very soon ….june is coming pretty fast ……okay itz time 2 get on my idk shit ..u kno the type of shit u do wen the landlord tells u that tha rent is due and u have 2 pay by next week or else u get evicted…… yea str8 grind time …..might get 2 jobs 2 get these bad boys ……i might even make a song about it …shits is soo hot ……amsterdam cosigns these …….and anything i put my name on is Grade A belive that …….Kanye u kno wat it is wen it comes 2 greatness …….A-DaM junior Scholar…future genius

~Amsterdam

ha ha …no love in the heart of the city

amsterdam ….web surfin ..alomst drowned ….i talked 2 my “special friend” on friday ..it was brief but still kewl …i noticed some things that were different …….. soo i been playin halo online and that has got 2 be one of the most addicting games out …i mean u really get a good stress relif ..takes ur mind off the obvious problems …while surfing thru my usual sites .. i see some domestic violence going on ….i would post the video ..but that wud be sooooo clich’e …iam not really moved by women hitting dudes …..it happens 2 me quite often ..itz kinda of cute 2 me…after u get a fist full of her u kinda tackle her and wrestle a lil …lol….wayyy 2 graphic…… lmao

anywayz ….iam just doin me ya know ..iam kinda like a big deal …..bout 2 play halo untill my “friend ” calls me again….i missed quite a few calls while sleeping but i dont really care 4 none of them….nah …i think my mysteriuos “friend” is goin thru somthing but i dont kno wat …i wish i could help her ..but i cant help myself…iam not in the position2  giv her a open three…iam on the bench myself…….just hold on ..phill collins syndrome ….i see u in the air 2nite …just hold on i’ll be there ….she may not open the door becuz the truth is’nt fit 4 all …………….overthinkin again…..if u didint kno

bak on my freestylin 4 nuttin stage ….itz kewl becuz wen itz time 2 rap itz nuffin …itz like warming up all day long…game time will be a breeze …..drake iz makin alot of noise …..datz my brother rite there (metaphorically) wattup wale .. i swear we will meet one day and they will understand a genius …my presence will be known ..enough with promises

soon i will devise a plan 2 put some new music out ..iam gettin antsy ….need some feedback ….my most recent songs r on some  lil wayne prom queen ….but i still rapp on the verses …iam feelin it …it may get some negavite responses but idk …..the real will reconize real…itz not a act 4 me

Remember my name

~AmsterDaM

Understanding the un-said

after a while of chilin alone …(as usual) i’ve learned 2 just live with wat is ….like u dont have 2 tell me me anything ..i already kno…..wrote a 16 2 day (as usual) I everything iam doin now is just extra music …in a minute iam bout 2 just go on sum explosive shyt …ppl aint movin like me (as usual)  ……no call 2day ..i already kno wat it is …. the un_said has been said ..and i understand ……iam just not that ..iam srry ….i dont wear my jeans baggy and i dont do ignorant things…i like ties and suits ..and art ….i guess i was a fool 4 trynig 2 go 4 sumthin that wasnt me …. enuff of that ….iam bak up in the mix that that ….i need 2 do sum real music 2 get off ya ….i got soo many songs the world hasnt heard …..my next move is oblivious 2 me …..drake did a performance in the D …it was tuff ….thats supposed 2 be me …still hot shyt though..

i still do wonder though why she hasnt called me….hmmmm…..idk ..yes i do ..just dont wanna say it ….still though i think iam worth a call …everytime the phone rings i pick it it and its not her …..my phone rang quite frequently too ….she just made all those other ppl unimportant …but they dont kno that …..shes kinda like a drug but i dk why becuz i never really smoked ..(if u kno wat i mean)  i dont kno ..sooner or later i will make a song that can convey my feelings ….but later ..dont wanna rush it ….it’ll come (as usual) …lol thanks 2 you i’ve posted 3 or 4 posts about you…..overpopulated thoughts r insane……silence is truly a great weapon …iam damaged becuz of it …..thanks

skool was ight ..work was iight ….shyt is all blurred out ..the street lights and shyt …all these ppl …..i kno were iam supposed 2 be but sumtimes u dont want 2 be there ……wat do u do wen ..the place u wanna be isnt there anymore ..that spot has vanished into the clouds …..now ur left with.silence

still waiting …………

-A~DaM